My life as Good Commander Ikari
by Kaworu Naha ga bisa
Summary: Someone with the heart of gold got trapped inside of the coldest man on earth who lost the only thing he loved ten years ago. He decided to become the best father ever. Skip this fic if you can't handle NiceGendo!
1. Mistah G Meets his Son!

Alright, can somebody just shoot me please.

I have been writing about several self-insert stories, the most successful one was of course the one where I became Kakashi. I even wrote a very perverted one where I became a Rei Ayanami clone that had obsession with...art of self pleasure.

But this...not even mad man like Hitler deserved to be doomed into the body of Gendo Ikari.

God...was this all because i wrote all those incest fics? Was this all because i wrote a fic about Evangelion with happy ending...for SxR?

I shook my head. They're not incest, damnit!

Not to mention that fate can be cruel without reason as well. I could be a literal saint, and this could still happen to me, you know.

And as some wise people said, you are there to carve your own path. Or fate, in this case.

But what kind of path shall i create when i'm stuck in the body and mind of one of the biggest douche in history?

Hmm...I know!

Let's make some friends!

-eva-

"Ikari, we need your sign to authorize the N2 bomb against the Third Angel."

"Sure, sure. Just do it." I said like it's the most obvious choice. When Fuyutsuki still didn't budge, I voiced my opinion in much more authoritative voice. "They will see that the N2 alone will be futile against the angel. There's no need for me to drag the bureaucracy as long as I could."

"O-of course." Fuyutsuki tried to shook off the odd feeling from hearing the Gendo Ikari so relaxed. Glad that i sounded more like my old self after that. "But why are you still here? The angel's already above, we need you to watch it live and make commands up there!"

"My office's well equipped enough to watch the chaos above, Fuyutsuki." I reasoned, still with my commander voice. Time to change my attitude. "And besides, i have more urgent business here. I NEED TO PREPARE FOR THE ARRIVAL OF MY ONLY SON!"

Fuyutsuki was so shocked he turned into a stone. Frozen stone, I might add.

"Oh, Shinji my little angel! Papa missed you sooo much! Ten years we're apart, my beloved son!" I squealed, before i turned into the frozen Fuyutsuki. "Oh Kouzou, what should i say to my son? All this time i haven't even wrote him a letter but the one that only said come. I'm so ashamed of myself! Bad, bad Gendo! Should i buy him every LEGO set on the store? Or should i buy him a sports car-teenagers always want one, right? Or how about this: I will set my son as the biggest eye-catcher in the whole Tokyo-3! Power, money, and Yui's looks will make him the most popular thing sooner or later. I won't fail you again, son! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Kouzou still haven't reacted. Damn, i hope he didn't get a stroke.

"Something wrong, Fuyutsuki?" I asked, almost concerned for his health.

"...Did i put the wrong mushroom in the soup again?" He squeaked, to the point that i almost couldn't hear him. Wait, this already happened before?

"I see that i haven't explained my actual plan, Fuyutsuki." I said in Gendo mode. "The truth, as you know it, is that I never good with people, even you. So when Yui was gone, I only have two options: get my son away from me so he won't see my embarrassingly bad parenting at best, and spiraling self-destruction at worst. Or, I can have him here and hope that me embarrassing myself would be the least damage he could see."

"...I thought you were hurt so much when she's gone, Gendo." Fuyutsuki said, voice still hadn't return yet.

"Well that's the other reason, really. I needed the time off to recuperate. After I was cured...mostly, I created two plans to face all of this, and they can be summarized as: be cold to him so he could grow without me, or be good to him so i can embarrass him with dad jokes and every attempt from me to become the best parent ever and...probably turned him into a better person than me. First plan will make me as the sole inheritor of Adam's power, while the latter made many people as the one who wield his power. As you can see, I went with the first one since that was the most obvious choice at that time, but lately I became more and more convinced that plan won't work."

"Why?"

"Well for the starter, what if Rei ended up betrayed me because Shinji's too good for her? What if I caused too much trauma for him to the point that he failed me? What if I actually hurt him the most instead of the least? Think about it, Kouzou, my plan will be ruined if I stay as the cold bastard for the eternity just by one small factor!" I explained the flaws of my so-called master plan.

"So...you decided, to go with the plan where you're...good with people, and have to share?" Fuyutsuki summarized my second plan.

"Well trying is the word, Kouzou. And it's not just good with people. It's to be the best dad ever! SON, I'M WAITING FOR YOU!" I exclaimed in a voice that not even my old self had. Damn, this man really needed to vent everything from his heart.

"I...I...I need a freaking drink. Maybe two liter of bourbon will make sense all of it, somehow. I knew it couldn't be the angel..."

"Oh, do whatever it take. Just get what you need, suit yourself, Kouzou. I will try my best to support it!"

"...Just get to the deck when your beloved son arrived." Said Fuyutsuki as he walked away, hands trembling from the shock. Poor him. I think his voice would never, ever return for the rest of this day. Maybe the next few days too if he really went with his plan to drink two liter of bourbon.

-eva-

"So this is what my father have been working on?"

"Correct." Said my voice. Everybody looked at me, standing in the command deck for the operation.

"Father..."

"It's been a while, Shinji."

Good. Now, when everybody's distracted...

"GOTCHA!" I said before i give my son a big hug.

"W-w-w-what?!"

"Oh my son, you've grown so much!" I greeted him when everything else in the room looked at me crazy. "You should've see your face when i surprised you, Shinji. It's priceless!"

"The fuck..." My fling mistress muttered. And Misato, who's usually so chirpy, couldn't say anything.

"But really, son?" I frowned at him and quickly added before he thought i disappointed him. "You came here to meet your father with your school uniform? What do you think this is, a working interview? No, son. This is homecoming party! Can't you see it? It's so obvious, man! And no offense, but in interview, you need to wear something that's better than just something official from your school. This is barely re-presentable in anything that's not involving fast food restaurants."

"It's all i have that don't look embarrassing."

"Ah, just like this coat of mine! Don't worry, Shinji. We can fix both our problems. Hey, Ritsuko! Are you pretty good in fashion sense? No offense Misato, but i prefer myself and Shinji to get something that's not too bombastic for our clothing."

"O- of course, sir. I'm not offended. At all." Misato finally squeaked.

"What the...I'm not working here to do fashion."

"Yeah, but you can't be worse than us. Just buy six sets of casual clothing and three suits. You'll have two million yen for the tabs. And keep the change." Ritsuko gleamed as i told her that she could keep the rest of the money, while Misato tried her best to not look miserable as she missed that generous bonus. Don't worry, you gorgeous purple-haired woman. That NBA All-Star salary will be a bonus for you sometimes when i decided to give you a new rank.

"Eh, b-but dad. The supposed party. Y-you just said come, in the letter. H-how i sh-should know?"

"I have, this beautiful and hot woman to pick you up, and sent you that photo of her gorgeous bosoms!" Misato coughed loudly as she found out that i knew and actually encouraged it as part of my plan. The boy in front of me himself had his cheek reddened. "Isn't that a giveaway? If this is a working interview, i would order an old man, like Kouzou to pick you."

"You got it right, Gendo! Woohoo!" Oh, damn. The old man's already drunk.

"Um, are you sure he's the right person to do interview?"

"Eh, the pressure got to him. Don't worry, he's a professional. So, Shinji? You get it?"

"Ah, I...I get it!" Shinji said as my cold, creepy hologram inside the command deck finally disappeared. "This is all, some kind of party, right?"

"That's true."

"You...you prepared so much for this!" I beamed up as Shinji became brighter and brighter. "You really thought of everything to greet me and show your work. This is all so real, f-father." Um, what?

"The monster, the military N2 bomb, the robot here, the super big, uh...Geofront complex, and its reversed city hologram? Well, it's...it's so immersive! And real! I-i'm really impressed by the work you've done for the, uh...virtual reality? What is the name of the project, or the movie, father?"

"Actually, the monster and robot is real." As i said that, a part of my son just died inside. "And this place, despite its rather crazy design, is pretty much real. You see Shinji, the timing's never been so awful. You should've been here weeks ago so we can discuss some thing and reach agreement first. Instead, we meet while we're directly under attack by the Angel. Damn, my boss' going to chew me out over this unpredictable scenario. They're supposed to be here later, like three months from now!"

"Um, what?" Shinji questioned me while my mistress was glad that he didn't get it.

"Never mind. It's secrets for old man like me, and people who are even older. And don't think for one bit that you're here just to do this. We have so much time after to bond after all, my son! But for now, you need, to pilot that thing."

"D-don't you have someone to do it, in place of me?" Man, i thought he would manned up...

"I wish. But alas, our other pilot was gravely injured just five days ago." I said as i showed the inside of Rei's hospital room. She was there, bandaged all over her body. "Rei, can you try to sit?"

Shinji was mortified when he saw his mom's blue-haired clone (not really, lol) could barely sit without spent nearly all of her energy. To say that she was hurt was an understatement. The girl definitely couldn't walk, let alone sit and did her job inside the robot. I ordered her to lay back, and she did just like that.

"Even if she's healthy, she wouldn't be able to make the robot fight optimally, and she's probably going to ended like that anyway. Ayanami Rei was supposed to ride her own robot-

"Sir, can you at least refer to it as Evangelion or at least the name of their units?" Ah, so finally Ritsuko get upset by me not using the official terms.

"Right. So, her Evangelion, is called Unit-00, and yours called Unit-01. This unit has been programmed for you, and her has been programmed for her as well. You can ride her EVA, but it won't be as good as she riding her own. But alas, something wrong happened to her unit. And uh,...I forgot to add some padding in the activation room, so she ended up bounced like crazy. Maya! Don't forget to add some impact padding as our new protocols in the training and synchronization room!"

"S-Sir!" Maya said rather hastily, obviously distracted by her brand new commander. Couldn't blame her, really.

"B...but how am i supposed to use it when even Ayanami couldn't ride her own without it getting out of control?"

"Eh, I don't want to make it sounds even weirder, but we're optimistic that you can ride it on first try because Unit-01 was built for Yui."

"M...mom?" My son was shocked while Ritsuko facepalmed as i revealed even more of the past of the operation, even if it was just an excuse and part of the lies. Captain Katsuragi herself was the same with Shinji, absolutely shocked.

"Yes. And i feel that I'll honor her if you become the one who piloted this." I could tell that my son's still on the fence. So I kneeled before him. "Shinji, please. You can do this. For the world's survival."

Unfortunately, at that time the angel hit the Geofront with his strongest attack. The combination of my old fearless self (at least to ghost and earthquake) made me strong enough to not stumble from the attack. Unfortunately, my son did.

And my head, which was lowered due to my kneeling position, clashed...with his private. Hard.

After one minute of agony (especially him), my poor boy said yes to his job...in a Mickey Mouse voice.

-evangelion-

"No popcorn and juice? I need them to watch my son kicking ass. " I asked as Shinji's getting prepared. I also already said to him that the liquid that's going to fill his plug was breathable.

"N-no, sir." Makoto answered.

"Oh poo." I pouted like a child, caused everyone in the room vicinity to get aneurysm.

-after the battle-

I looked over my son as he recovered in his hospital room.

Even with me directing everything he had to do, including where he could get his weapons, in the end we're still had to be saved by Yui went berserk.

I sighed. This is going to be hard, even with Gendo Ikari became a changed man.

Finally, he woke up.

I smiled, he tried his best to smile despite the pain.

Oh, well. It's a better start i suppose.

-evangelion-

Yeah, so basically, me tried to outdo Raising Project Gendo.

And it's a little bit serious.

Also, my two primary EVA fics are not dead. I just got lazy, lol. But i can tell you this:

-Steroid's Eight Angel will be finished in the next chapter. After that, Gendou will unveils most of the secrets.

-Dummy Plug will have me dated Shinji thanks to Gendo rejected my proposal.

So see you next time. Tataa!


	2. Mistah G vs Seele the Scrooge!

"So as you can see, Shinji, my job's not easy by any means." I explained to my son, who was awed by the sheer size and complexity of the Geofront. "This is what my bosses said to me after the fight."

-eva-

"This is not going like the supposed scenario, Ikari."

"The angels coming here too fast, without any warning. Just like fourteen years ago."

"And frankly we're disappointed with how you handled the Instrumentality Project, Ikari."

"The repairs budget for both units could bankrupt Macedonia."

"And you gave the Test Unit to your son like it's his toy? What the hell is on your mind, Ikari?"

"Human, Time, and Money. How much of those three that you spent to enrich yourself, Ikari?"

-eva-

"S-sorry to hear that they accused you of corruption, father."

"Don't mind it, son. They're just bullies. They will always be ungrateful, no matter what I've done. And besides, I know how to handle them."

-eva-

"So?"

"So? SO?! What the hell is with you, Ikari?" Shouted the man with bluish lighting, angry at my insubordination.

"I'm sorry, I just don't see what the fuss is all about."

"You fool! You know as well as we do that with the reappearance of the angels, we can't excuse any more delays to the most important project, the Human Instrumentality Project."

"The money, the human, and the time! You barely make it out, we explained why the three of these points are vital, and why you need to stop enriching yourself!" None of their threats flinched me. Damn, Gendo's a gangster.

"I already know those three points are vital to this. If you really want to make my job more efficient, then stop doing nonsense like Jet Alone project or making thousands of Nagisa clones every month."

"Why you-"

"Gentlemen," Keel Lorentz, the only identifiable man in this whole meeting aside from me, interrupted the yellowish man who looked like a slimy crook instead of bully like the rest of the SEELE. "Ikari here has a point. The Jet Alone project hemorrhaging money for us if we consider its questionable reliability due to lacks of AT Field, and with this arrival of the Third Angel, we might don't have any more time. And as much as we needed to prepare for the possible angel war after the death of Tabris, thousands of him is... probably overkill."

"You might be right, chairman." The bluish man who accused me of corruption and nepotism slumped back. "We can't possibly create hundreds of Mass Production EVA in just one year, and we haven't even made one yet. Fine, Ikari. You will have enough resource to employ a third EVA in six weeks."

"Thank you for listening."

"Ikari-san, thank you for this insight."

"Anything to help humanity, gentlemen."

"We count on you, Ikari." Said the yellow one before everybody disappeared. I said to myself:

"That ended better than I thought. Especially since the three of my most trusted and competent people drank themselves to oblivion..." I muttered, and sighed as I knew that Misato, Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki won't wake up until the next tomorrow.

-eva-

So in our super long elevator ride, I explained to Shinji about why the EVA's injuries also felt to the pilots. Of course anyone who read or watched Evangelion already know the reason for it: The robot was actually a bio-mecha giant created from the progenitor of both intelligent primary races, for purpose of countering the angels' AT-Field, as well as being one of the most responsive robot in the world.

Of course, the clone part was omitted to Shinji, lol.

"Don't worry. We'll see if we could do something to ease up the phantom pain. Evangelion units, after all, not designed to be exactly like a human. For example, they have really high blood pressure to the point that they bleed like a geyser when something managed to stab it. There might be difference in the nerve system as well that could explain why everything hurt so much." I answered his question about why piloting it hurt so much.

"O-okay..." Shinji meekly said, not reassured enough.

"And this, is the place where you get the plug suit measured." I explained while the door slowly opened to show...no one.

"Hmm...they must be in the post-battle site to get the samples from the angel. Well, that will be enough for now. There are other important places like dummy plug development site, the place where we extract the LCL, the Evangelion graveyard, the place where Rei grow up...but I think it's better for you to rest for now, especially since there's no one here to take your measurements."

"Graveyard for Evangelion?"

"Oh, it's the place where we buried the failed experimental E-Units and body parts. It has no use for anything else, and quiet frankly... rather frightening. Anything else, son?"

"...What happened to Ayanami?"

"Like I said, activation accident." I said as I showed the burnt scar in my hands. "I have to save her myself."

"...Oh." My son did not have anything else to said, quiet frankly. However, a little tinge of jealousy began to appear on his face as well, but quietly disappeared and replaced with...guilt? Well, better saved his low-esteem.

"You know? I think you need to get close to her. Misato as well." I offered as i wore back my gloves. "Rei's a lonely girl without a good social skills, hampered due to her duty as the base for dummy plug, as well as its calibrator. She has no friends in school since she freaked people a little. The only real relationship she have is with me, and that's only after I saved her.

"Wh-what should I do first?

"You can start by swimming together with her sometimes. That's the only hobby of her that I know of. Also, I think she likes warm things, so make her tea, chocolate, stuff like that. And finally, avoid giving her something red since she hates it."

"O-okay. I'll try."

"You'll also have conversation in video call with the Second Child soon, to get know each other better. Sohryu's currently stationed in Germany. She'll only be here when we're sure that the angels will only attack here. And by we, I meant the guy who projected our budgets." "She's just as pretty as Rei."

"W-why you have to mention that?"

"Because I'm your parent, silly. We family often like to make fun of each others, you just came out of puberty, and I see you can't keep your eyes off Ayanami. Don't worry, boy! You are just a teenager with your hormone going off recently. Although I would make sure for you to stay out of sex. Unless I feel that you're smart and restrained enough to use contraceptive!"

Shinji flustered at me mentioned sex and how I'm expected him to deal with him. Hahaha! I love being a parent! "Will I live with you?"

"Honestly, it's not viable now. But don't think I don't want to live with my son. It's the first thing I truly desired." I reassured before Shinji got the wrong idea. "Unfortunately, my bosses are...embodiment of Scrooge. And often come at odds with anything I do and planned, no matter how petty they are. If I live with you, it'll serve nothing but adding another fuel for the think-tanks against me. Nepotism, unprofessional, you know, things like that. Frankly, I think living together is only possible when I can prove something, like it will decrease living cost for everyone."

"O-okay." Shinji looked at the clock. "W-well, I think I need to deliver these transfer papers to my new school."

"Sure, son. Go talk to my driver. We can only talk about important stuffs and secrets when the time fit, anyway."

"Father, I don't think I have the privilege to know company's secrets."

"No, son. It's worst than that. So many things here, is much more disturbing than just things like tax evasions and bribery."

"L-like what?" Shinji gasped.

"All I can say now is that we're dealing with biotechnology, so...the Evangelion's pretty much something that should be classified as something alive without our modification."

"So, uh...what I'm doing there, is to act like its mind controller or something?"

"Pretty much."

"Oh dear. I-I can see why you're not willing to classify anything else now." Said Shinji, now looked a little green.

"I hope it doesn't make you...wish to get out of the program."

"No, father. You have faith in me, and you have been trying to get closer with me. It would make me...ungrateful. And uh, if all of you can work with something that you implied being even more disgusting, then I think I can stomach it." Shinji answered, and closed the possible uncertainty.

"Thank you, son."

"Oh yeah, Shinji?"

"Yes?"

"Whether you will consider Rei as something really important, your lover or a sister, I won't mind!"

"W-why you're so interested in my love life? And what does that even means? How could she be a possible sister and lover at the same time?"

"Because I'm your embarrassing parent, silly boy!" That, and despite the genetics being not that similar, their relationship could be seen as oedipal.

Shinji could only blushed before he ran to get the elevator on time.

-evangelion-

That being said, I haven't checked on the crew in the post-Evangelion battle.

"Commander."

"Hi, Maya!" I greeted her in the most cheerful way possible to caught everyone on the screen off guard. The result was Maya fell off her chair, Makoto face-faulted, and Shigeru struck the wrong cord. "Any trouble up there?"

"...Everything is fine. I...it's not usual for you to check on the workers, Commander."

"Ah, I might not look like it, but I will bust my ass off if everyone have to. It's just that I decided to...lower the requirement for me to give a fuck." Yeah, despite him being a cruel, heartless mofo, Gendo actually bothered to help everyone to haul the E-units when the power sabotage happened. So what I just said could be considered as a half-lie at worst.

"Good to know that our commander's not the coldest man on earth anymore."

"Yes, Shigeru. I'm so glad that the cold prick scenario didn't work as well as it should! It give me excuses to be the man I am now!"

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you being a jackass is actually a part of some scenario?" The superego part of the bridge trio asked, obviously dumbstruck.

"That's true! It was part of my abandoned scenario to let me handle things that will get people scared! Maya knows about it, of course. She tended the dummy plug development, after all!"

"You called that the least scary part, sir? It took me like a month before I stopped puking after the deed's done!"

"Yup! It is!" Everybody there became awestruck, wondered what kind of job they just got. "Anyway, I have a big news: My bosses just accepted my new budget! If we managed to manage it right, everyone will have free lunch and dinner from now on!"

Took less than five seconds before everyone cheered at me loudly. God, I love Japanese crowd. They always got energized so much! Respected the performers too.

-evangelion-

"Uuuh...that was the worst hangover I ever had."

Misato tried to stand, and managed to do so despite her huge headache. Looked around, she found none of her drinking buddy. Thinking about it, herself was not in the bar anymore.

"Section 2 must've dragged us into our own place...And why is it so noisy this morning?"

Mumbled a little about noisy neighbors, Misato decided to complain about it. It did not matter that she actually woke in 11 AM, her headache had to be soothed, damn it!

And there she met someone that she never expected.

The Commander.

"...Commander Ikari?"

"That's me!"

She shuddered. Seemed like it would take a long time before she gets used to the brand new Commander and his personality. "What is it?"

"Ah, it's just that Shinji don't have a place he could stay, so...can you look for him?"

"Sure, sure. Kid's a good one, so he won't be trouble."

"Oh, thank you so much!" Commander hugged her tightly, and before she could voiced her discomfort, he pulled away and screamed, "Hey! Is the gym ready?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Good! This whole floor is yours, Captain!"

 _Whole floor? Just what the hell was he talking about?_

Misato shrugged before she went to borrow some sugar from her neighbor. She might be suffered from huge headache, but she still remembered about the lacks of sugar in her kitchen. And she had to get some, or else that greedy penguin of hers would went insane. Pen-Pen loves adding sugar for his ebisu.

However, what greeted her inside was an old lady who was baking cakes.

"Oh, sorry. But Tatsuro-san just moved into the lower floor. Say, would you like some cookies?"

"Uh, no thanks. I just...needed the sugar."

"There you go, sweety!" The lady said as she gave Misato the sugar and a bag full of cakes, which she explained as 'on the house' for the new neighbor.

Misato only muttered a thanks before she walked away. The sight of her distraught her. Not that there was no one in Tokyo-3 that was friendly and generous, but her apartment was protected from any potential blast from the angels so much that the rent went through the roof. That was the reason for why she held so few money despite her job, and she could only wonder why an old bakery like that lady could afford the rent.

Never mind. She had to return something else first.

"Hiro, sorry for hogging the calculator, but it had been a hectic week and-"

"Misato?"

"RITSUKO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HIRO'S APARTMENT?"

"Hell if I know! I just woke up when I realized my apartment's got bigger and-"

"Bigger? My studio's small compared to yours!" Misato shouted before she walked back into her own, and exclaimed, "WHAT? MY APARTMENT IS NOW LINKED WITH HAYATE'S? AND HIS BELONGINGS ALSO GONE!"

"Hmm...what's the ruckus..."

"VICE COMMANDER?!" Misato shouted before she realized the door that Gendo talked to. She walked to it, took a peak, and screamed, "HOLY SHIT THERE'S A GYM HERE!"

-evangelion-

"I wonder if I should tell them that the apartment's going to be a place for NERV to hangout, and my most trusted advisors will be placed in the same apartment that also repurposed so they have two apartment that get linked, practically turned it into condominium? Nah, they will know it tomorrow when everything's ready and-"

 _"COMMANDER! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS!"_

"...I should've at least write a letter to explain things to them...Perhaps the Jacuzzi could be done today to shut the ladies off..."

-evangelion-

Sorry for the late update, but I have been very busy lately. It also didn't help that I working at like 7 chapters at the same time.

And no need to worry! Rei will interact with Gendo next! Will Gendo destroys her apartment out of disgust, transfer her to Misato's apartment, or ordered Shinji to use the Evangelion and tow it to a space next to Misato's apartment building before he fixed it? Stay tuned!


	3. Mistah G's Bonding Time!

"You went against my order, and nearly jeopardized this mission. Third Child, you-"

"Major Katsuragi, that's enough." I interrupted.

"Sir, just because he's your son, that doesn't mean we can't pull our punches on him." The purple haired woman retorted.

"You don't know much about the internal structure in our organization, Major. Those two boys he saved are essential to our project. He might did not get any order from me, but I'll vouch that he had done the right thing, and not just morally."

"Essential? For what?" Ups. Should I say that Touji would be our pilot? Well, Ritsuko just gave me a head shake, and Fuyutsuki also waving both his hands. Maybe not now.

"W-well, Suzuhara is the son of our best engineer and-"

"Sir, don't tell me you bluffed just to save your son from some scolding. I trusted you enough to be more professional-"

"YOU'RE A MEAN ONE, MISATO! I TRUSTED YOU SINCE YOU LOOK LIKE A FUN WOMAN, BUT IT TURNED OUT THAT YOU'RE JUST AS HEARTLESS AS THOSE OLD GOATS! BUHUHUHUHUUUUUU!" I ran away with crocodile tears to avoid telling the conspiracy stuffs behind The Children and Gehirn.

And looked even whinier than Shinji at his worst.

-evangelion-

And that's how we ended up enjoying the scenery on the hill.

"Please forgive Misato, Shinji."

The boy said nothing, and I had to call his name again. Turned out he didn't even listened.

"S-sorry, father. What did you say?" Shinji asked, before he looked away.

"Don't be. Listen, you need to forgive Misato. She's a good woman, it's just...This angel business, she had personal grudge against them."

"R-really?" He perked up. "Well, that does explain why she become much more serious whenever job calling. M-may I know about it?"

"Well it's not the place for me to explain, but let's just say that when half of the population is wiped out, it's almost 100% guaranteed that someone important for you were one of those who perished."

"Oh." That was all Shinji's reaction, and we went to inhale the very enjoyable breeze.

"The world is healing."

"Huh?" Shinji asked for a clarification.

"If you meet someone who claimed that the world will be forever doomed, then this place will show that person on how wrong they are. This was used to be a ruin, Shinji. Nothing but green patches around the pale looking mountain. It just returned to its glory two years ago. Can you see any flaw from this place?"

"I...I never know. And, uh...I think it's beautiful?" My boy meekly replied.

"However, we believe that one link's missing." Shinji looked at me with curiosity once again. "For some reasons, despite the world slowly returned to its former state, there are stuffs that still not even showing any fix. Winter never come. Parts of sea overfilled with red tinge of bacteria. And human pregnancy is scarce. Call me crazy, but...I believe that another action need to be done. Maybe one of the angel will be the key to all of this? Maybe something else need to be done?" Obviously not Jar-Jar. And an initiated third impact without its destructive effects could done it. But how?

"Commander." A Section-2 agent approached us before Shinji could give a response, with Ayanami Rei who now sported no injuries. "We brought the First Child."

"Good job! So I take it everyone went with my excuse?"

"Everyone but the Captain. She's still upset over your...attitude." He summarized.

"Meh. It's Misato! She will be fine with a party, even if the only one who attended it was her penguin!"

The agent just shook his head, probably still not used with my new attitude. "Whatever you said, sir."

He then entered his car, and left us. Good thing that they still did their job and not taking a side despite all of this.

"Come here Rei! Let's try to enjoy this scenery, shall we?" She only nodded before she walked next to us.

But the girl did not take her seat, and I took it as she had something to say.

"Shinji," Rei said with her soft voice. So soft she sounded more like a whisper.

"I am your mother."

We spat our drink to each others at Rei's crazy (but actually based) confession.

"W-what the hell?!"

"S-shinji, there is something I want to discuss with Rei first. I think she might took too much of her new medicine, hehehe!" I excused myself before dragged Rei behind our car.

"Rei, what the hell did you talking about?"

"I was made from the remains of your wife. At least that's what Doctor Akagi said."

Damn you for nearly ruined my shipping, Doctor! "That's true. Except her uncorrupted remains constituted like, what? 4% of you?"

"Then why she said I looked just like her?"

"Because we filled what was missing with dna of people who have several great similarity with her that can filled the missing genetics to make you. And it just happened that...agh!"Even considering how smart she was, this would take hours. For once, I nearly blamed reality instead of thanked it for making Rei less oedipal. "Listen, Rei. I know my own wife. And while both of you are beautiful and looked similar, I don't recall my wife was an albino with blue hair. Not to mention, she's-no offense-much more sociable. You're not her. I mean, why would I made a clone of my wife with blue hair if I could just make her whole?"

"I do not understand. I thought my purpose was the reason for my pigmentation?"

"Don't you trust me?" Rei simply nodded without questioned me. Just like always. "Now since you came here announced yourself as Shinji's mother out of nowhere, I'm afraid you need to lay in my car so you can be excused as taking the wrong pills. Or else your relationship, working and personal, will be awkward for the rest of your life."

"I think calling Section-2 and a doctor will be better-"

"OH REI! SOMEONE HELP US" I shouted before I grabbed her in bridal style. Worried, Shinji ran toward our position to check what was going on.

"Pretend to sleep, girl!" I growled, and she did it just before Shinji could see her.

"Wh-what happened, father?"

"She passed out of nowhere. I think she reacted to her new medicine badly."

"H-how could her d-doctor messed her prescription?" Shinji was flabbergasted by my lies.

"Rei is our special project, Shinji." My answer made him shocked, so I continued. "She's part of our dummy plug program, and she took medicine that restrain her emotion for it. We need not just a suitable person for it, but a very stable mind for our dummy plug program as well."

"What's a dummy plug?"

"Entry plug filled with artificial intelligence, made so when the pilots went unconscious, the EVA can still goes on without berserk mode. Without a properly modeled intelligence however, it's just as bad as the berserk mode." I failed to mention on how the plug is filled with her clones too.

"So what happened now? Why did she passed out?"

"New medication." I lied again. "Rei is one of the smartest girl you could find around Tokyo-3, and her personality is already pretty quiet since the beginning. So I decided she would be better to get her emotion depressant taken off, and learn how to deal with it from footage, books and such. After all, her mental being restrained made her sync rate suffered. However, she had been on the meds so long, it created a new side-effect on itself. Damn doctor and their wrong prescription. How long till they get it right?"

That was just a half-lie. I really took the depressant out of her system.

Not for piloting purpose though. More like to make her more human. Although it might increased her sync rate.

"H-how are we going to save her?"

"It's pretty simple." Man, this Commander's brain made me able to lie on the spot. What a genius that Rokubungi-Ikari brain was! "We need to make her feel as comfortable as possible. So we'll lay her down in the backseat."

"Oh, okay-"

"And, to make her even more comfortable, she needs to sleep on your lap!"

Shinji's neck created a whiplash so hard, he created some noise. Ignoring the

Wait a minute. Did Rei just blushed?

"WHAAAAT?!"

-shinji-

"W-will she make it?"

"That's why she's sleeping in your lap now. She needs to feel as comfortable as possible, and if we did it right, she won't even need to get a medical attention. Part of the medicine side-effect, I think. The more uncomfortable she got, the worse the medicine will react badly."

"S-so why won't she just sleep in your lap instead? Why we even need to drive in the first place?"

"Part of my scenario. If she still needs to get more medical attention for another side-effect that we still don't know, then by driving back to the city, she will get her medication better. Meanwhile, you learn how to be less awkward around her! Isn't that great?"

Well the whole reason was a shipping, actually. LMAO.

"A-are you telling me that to make thing less awkward, I need to do...this?"

"Let's be honest, my boy. Which one is more awkward? Hanging with a girl who just sleep in your lap, or hanging with a girl who just claimed that she's your mother?"

"Uh, point taken, I think." Shinji just meekly accepted my reasoning. Hmm, perhaps I could push it even further...

"Well since we're already here, how about patting her?"

"Wait a minute, father! I-I can't just do that to her-"

"Hey, I wish I'm the one who do that, but my hands are doing something else, boy!"

Not to mention that I never drive a car before. Driving something this big was something else, man. I never every bit of my concentration, even if my driving skills are still intact.

"O, okay." My boy just obliged, and it was silence back there. "S-soft..." He muttered to himself. Oh, Shinji. My perverted boy, you!

And my girl back there also purred! Seemed like she was contend in his care too. And soon enough her breathing became much more stable, showed that she went to sleep.

Ah, our bonding was more or less a success. The shipping as well.

This day couldn't get any better!

-evangelion-

"Come on! Why can't you two agreed with me?"

"Stripping The Commander out of his title for what again, Misato?"

"Incompetency! Insanity! Misconduct! Anything that can describe his erratic behavior!"

"I don't know, Captain. He actually become even more competent in my opinion."

"And my data objectively said he did become more competent." Ritsuko added. "For one, Commander correctly predicted that mere high caliber bullets would never penetrate AT-Field, no matter how high the velocity of the impacts. We added electric charges as he suggested, and the guns now working as intended!"

"To disrupt the AT-Field forming, that is. The Evangelion is still our best option to destroy the angels."

"...Okay, how about the popcorn throwing stuffs in the first battle?" Misato asked.

"Well he just so happy that his boy survived-"

"Or about the free caramel beverages for last battle?"

"Obviously it's to raise our morale, despite-"

"Or how about how he just changed TOO MUCH! Can't you see it? The guy just flipped! Right before our first battle! Didn't that a red flag for you that he snapped?"

"Okay, he changed. So?"

Misato couldn't believe it. Were they the same people who drank themselves into oblivion after witnessed the change? Was the bribe of living in the same apartment that good? "Whatever. I'll confront him alone then."

"Suit yourself, Misato." Doctor Akagi dismissed her friend who stomped out of the room. "Still can't believe her being opposed to changes around here."

"Well Ikari's new behavior is bizarre, I admit."

"But why oppose it when it produce result?"

"Result? Are you talking about the fights, or the last night you spend together?" Fuyutsuki asked with a sneer.

The doctor drank her coffee without any visible twitch, despite the rather boorish question.

Although she developed a slight smirk after she finished her drink.

-evangelion-

 _For some reason I feel like shouting about how manly I am. Oh yeah! That must be my good doctor. I am really a man!_

"Ikari-kun, you can do it now."

Wait a minute...

"Mmm, so big."

Next thing I know, I had to control my car that turned into oversteer machine. All thanks to Rei's first ever lewd dream.

Even Gendo was shocked! What the hell did she just read man?

-evangelion-

What happened next? Who Gendo will crashed into? Will Misato managed to report Gendo and made him a homeless hobo? Find out next chapter!


	4. Mistah G Disproving Freud!

"Father! We're going to crash! AAAAAAAAH"

"No, Shinji! We're way too young to die!" I screamed before I tried to control my car back, only for it to went even wilder. "OH NO! WE'RE GOING TO DIEEE!"

The gravel side of the road, luckily, did its job. Our car's speed slowed down before we crashed into the bush, enough to make it a hard but cushy bump.

And so my son and his soon to be girlfriend saved without any injury, even without seat belt. Still, use your seat belt, everyone!

"Oh, Shinji. You are rough."

And our closet pervert just keep mouthed something sensual.

It also made my pee pee a little harder too. Damnit, this was the clone of your wife, Gendo! Surely her genetic purity was extremely low, but it's still awkward, god to the damn it!

"How you keep getting harder?"

That was when Shinji decided to knock Rei out of his lap, and she ended up landed on the ground, enough to make her slipped out of her dream state.

"Ouch. W...what just happened?" Rei asked as she got up.

"I'LLBEOUTSIDEFORAWHILEFATHERREIGOODBYE!"

And with Shinji ran away to get rid of his teenager problem (which I did not want to see the process), I went to ask Rei some questions.

"What did you dreamed, Rei?"

"Something pleasant. And I...I never dreamed before."

"That's good, Rei. That means you're closer to become more human! Feel something else?"

"I feel...wet? What just happened?"

"Uh, I think it was a really pleasant dream, Rei. If...you catch my drift."

Rei gave me her patented blank stare, before got the hint and blushed at the implications. She read the biology book, after all.

Yeah, serves right for nearly killed us all.

-evangelion-

"Shinji's taking his time." I said the obvious. "I wonder if he really thought that much of you, Rei..."

"Y-you somehow embarrassed me, sir."

"Ah, I am sorry. That was too lewd on my part." I apologized, not too sincerely of course. I wanted having fun here, and making my kid's relationship with his soon-to-be girlfriend as awkward as possible was just one you'd expected from an expert dad like me. "Anyway, I think I'll search for him."

My eyes were set into the path where you can find restroom, which could be read as simply following the main road. That was the most likely outcome of Shinji's current complication. He went to the bathroom, he either poured the whole cold water on him, or...EoE happened way too early, luckily with much better respect and sanity from his part.

"Dude, come one! Just spill it out!"

"Yeah, it's not very common for anyone to find their friend in the wilderness and just dropped his pant with a hard-on!" Man, I could sense the heat came out of my son's cheek, and I haven't had him in sight yet.

"I've told you, that I was trying to apply cold water on it!"

"Shinji, Shinji. The fact that you didn't even trying to deny that you had a boner was really telling. I knew your guardian's really hot though, so can't blame ye that much for popping boners here and there."

"Or, considering your tight outfit as pilot, you have seen Rei in similar suit, showed her gorgeous, irresistible figure."

"W-WHAT?"

"Or even better, you saw her changed in a test or something! So tell me, is the carpet match the-"

"As much as I am amused with this teenager conversation, I have to order you two to stop making fun of my-"

"COMMANDER IKARI HAVE LOCATED US! WE'RE DOOMED"

"SIR, WE'RE COMPLETELY SORRY THAT I DECKED YOUR SON! I WAS A FOOLISH BOY THREE BOYS AGO, I PROMISE I CHANGED!"

"Uh..." I turned speechless as the two boys took everything I did in the wrong way.

"HE REJECTED OUR APOLOGY!"

"THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO GET OUT OF THIS! TOUJI'S SUPERKICK! AAAAAAAA!"

Oh, dear...

-evangelion-

"WE'RE SORRY! WE'RE SORRY!"

"D-dad, everything's okay now?"

"It wasn't that painful." I replied before I looked at the other boys, now kneeled in front of a very furious Rei. Man, I was lucky that kick did not hit my nose. "She's really something huh, Shinji? I didn't know she had it in it to scold some brats around her own age."

"They deserved this and more, Commander." Rei icily responded, and the boys could only shivered in fear. Yup, just like a scary mother figure.

"Well they can accompany us in our movie binge. My choices of course."

"Sir?"

"Punishment is more than a way to struck justice, Rei. In fact, its primary purpose is not that. If anything, punishment is there mostly to rehabilitate people to get them out of their dangerous, unacceptable behavior. We want people to change for the better, right?" I asked her.

"Even so, how does a movie...binge...whatever it is, can do that, sir?"

"Oh, god. I know how and where this is going. You're going to show us the Section-2 agents, uncut right? Sir, please! Anything but that! I don't want to see how you smashed traitor's ball-sack into pieces!"

"Ew, no! Why would I do that? We're going to a movie screening! Old one, but gold."

"How old?" Touji asked. Probably one of those kids that can't appreciate classics like first Ultraman or Goldfinger, meh.

"Eh, 30 years at most. It's about war. One of the most realistic war movie, in fact. Veterans said it's so realistic, the only thing that's missing is the smell."

"Really? Woohoo! Take me now, Commander!"

Oh, Kensuke. Once the movie's over, you're going to have a life evaluation...

-evangelion-

 _after the movie..._

"Now, guys. That was fun, right?"

"F-fun? That scene where the soldier screamed for his mommy after his lower half blown into half was horrifying!" Shinji screamed in defiance, somehow gained courage in movie debate out of all thing.

"Y-yes..." Said Rei, cutely hugging Shinji as if she would disappear if she didn't do that. Then again, she was terrified.

"I-I know that big rounds are banned for a reason from Kensuke, but to see why so viscerally..."

"I-I want to rethink of my career choices..."

"Well now all of you know what you're going through as soldiers right? And thankfully for Shinji, his war is actually more like a one-on one battle, so it's much more containable. Not making it less terrifying of course, as he would testify."

"O-of course, sir...I'll not think of it as something super cool again."

"M-me too..." Added Touji.

"Well you're free to think that soldiers have cool toys, because they do. It's just that war is...anything but awesome. In fact, I believe that part of the reason why old scripture portrayed war as cool because most people back then were illiterate, and the literate one are doomed to do propaganda to raise morale. Now, of course you can go to army to get the taste of what it's like to defend your country, but don't expect it to be all glory."

"I understand, sir."

"Now everyone, let's dismiss all those talk about war from our thoughts, because we're going to-" Suddenly, my phone rang. Ritsuko, what was she wanted now, prevented me from taking these kids to a night at Disneyland? "Hello?"

 _Sir, Misato managed to convince UN's higher ups that you needed some mental check-ups!_

"Excuse me? Are you telling me that Misato somehow convinced everyone that I am insane or something?" This was hypocritical; everybody in Evangelion had depression! Hell, if the anime was longer, like 39 episodes, I'd bet that Maya, Shigeru and Makoto would be revealed to be insane too.

 _Not exactly, sir, but you need to do this check-up to show that you still fit to be Commander, as well as some testifying about your...turnaround. I know your strategy's still sharp as ever, but your sudden attitude changes..._

"Okay, okay. I'll go there as soon as I could." I closed the phone. "Sorry, but I'm needed in my room. Shinji, why don't you have some fun with your friends with this?" I ordered as I threw him a bundle of money.

Shinji counted the money, and got a surprise from it. "300,000 yen? Dad, this is too much!"

"Nah, it's not much. Just consider that as your first payment before we finalized your contract."

"Still, I-"

"It's dirt cheap for super soldier that's saving the world twice a month, Shinji! Just take it." Kensuke adviced.

"Yeah, and if you somehow blew it up in a day, consider that as your punishment." I winked at my son, who in turn was embarrassed enough to get conscience to save it.

Now, let's hope that it won't take long...

-evangelion-

 _The next day..._

"OUCH!"

"That was for taking them away." Said Rei, before her little feet walked away from the room, her steps were just as loud as when she stomped Misato's own leg. Said woman got her annoyance amplified when she heard the doctor whistled, obviously did not concerned with her.

"Wow! If I knew she would be this interesting, I would never give her all that depressant in the first place!" Ritsuko summarized, having her opinion of the First Child (grammatically corrected by the improved Commander) vastly increased by what just happened.

"You're pleased with this, weren't you?"

"Well we're now losing our Commander, who decided to bring his son with him to testify for his sanity, which means that we also losing our pilot temporarily now. Nice job, Misato."

"Oh, just admit that you're losing the guy you could bang-OW!"

"That, too!" Ritsuko screamed before she left her best friend to rub all her harmed body part, including her butt that landed awkwardly first.

"Ooo...what the hell is wrong with everyone here? Can't they see that our Commander probably have lost it? How the hell can he even justified all crazy shit he pulled? All of it look so childish, breaking all norms of how a leader should act! It's like he's...he's..." Ironically, in her anger, the woman had a realization, which made her made a complete change in her outlook on life.

"That's it! I need to bring Commander back! He's innocent! He actually fulfilled my promise!"

-evangelion-

"Man, sucks that Shinji's gone. We just gotten to like him."

"He could be back at any moment, though. Especially if Commander Ikari can do...whatever job he's assigned to quickly. Say, you think it had to do with his-"

"Commander, don't go!" Screamed a certain purple-haired woman.

"Hey! That's Shinji's hot guardian! Wow, that was what she hid in the jacket? Niiice!"

"And she begged for Commander Ikari to not go away! Does that means she's his mistress all along?"

That line of questioning made Misato crashed into the wall, and Kensuke had to scram away with his best buddy when the woman started throwing obscenities and bricks at them.

-evangelion-

"That...idiot...that was what had been lingering on her mind all along?" Ritsuko asked to herself, jaw dropped to the ground.

"Well science have determined most of his work as unscientific since they cannot be tested and gave people the wrong answers, so it must be driving her nuts that his works is referenced so much in our research."

"Not to be rude, but why did you answered me again, Vice Commander?"

"Just feel like it."

-evangelion-

"Okay, where was I? Oh yeah. Please, Commander! I'm sorry! You don't have to go, I understand everything you did to me."

"Woah! It sounds like a girlfriend trying to salvage her relationship all along!" Said another pedestrian who watched the whole thing. Well, there were pedestrians. Lots of it. A klutz-and an attractive one at that- who just crashed into the wall was just too much of a spectacle to be ignored.

"Shut up! And who threw all these Sakura petals at me? Get it off!" As if she could command god, the petals soon stopped throwing themselves at Misato. "Anyway, I have figured out why you did all those crazy stuffs. It's because you truly a good man, always fulfill everybody's hope. You're there for us, showing hope to everyone you could. But I was being stubborn, refusing to acknowledge that you changed for the better, thinking it was for the worst instead. And only now, that I know why you did it, and how important it is to me. It's to...to..."

"Okay, woman. Spill it out, because it really sounds like you realized that man is for you all along."

"TO KEEP YOUR PROMISE TO DISPROVE FREUD, GODDAMNIT!" Everybody face-faulted at the sheer insanity. What the hell was that?

"I've read all those books disproved Freud, showed that his works are just not good in showing the actual answers despite asking so many interesting answers. Not to mention many of his ideas have been there longer than before he even lived. And yet, so many of our works referenced Freud like it was gospel. I even thought that we're the most incompetent scientific mind in planet earth because of that."

"Does that means we should be running away in panic now?"

"No, ma'am. Everything is under control now." The Captain reassured, not mentioning the fact that earth was almost doomed because their pilot for the first battle couldn't even made his first walk without falling. "So anyway, don't go, sir. I am reassured that you're a perfectly sane individual, and your brilliant mind's still working as intended. So...don't go?"

Misato's hope lifted when the train left...and crushed when she did not seen them there, waving at her like how she wanted it to be. "They're gone. And it's all my fault. Now NERV's going to lost its Commander, all because he became a little too weird for me."

"Oookay, can we just pretend you're trying to undo a breakup? Because the whole thing is too nonsensical for me."

"I sense some kind of denials here..."

"Go ahead, I don't even care."

"Man, what's the ruckus is all about?"

"Whu, what?" Captain Katsuragi turned around, the voice was too familiar for her to ignore.

And there he was, the (former) bastard and his son. "Commander? I thought you're already left?"

"Nah, the train for us will arrive in an hour. What are you doing here anyway?"

"Oh sir! I am sorry!" The woman hugged him, making everyone aawed in the process.

-evangelion-

 _Woah! Her curves were everywhere, and I barely hugged her back! Hold on, Gendo! Ritsuko's almost as good. Don't betray her, don't..._ "Thank you for finally looking it at my perspective, Captain."

"Thank you so much for disproving Freud, sir. You really kept my promise."

"...Okay?" I was confused, but I decided to just go with the flow. "It's always my goals to defeat the Hedgehog's Dilemma."

"Ah, so you have a personal stake in this too! Is this all part of your scenario?"

I only smiled at her, and everybody took it like a gospel. Yup, you still got it, Gendo.

"Wait a minute." Misato said, realized something. "Why you take the next train? You'll be late to your meeting, like 30 minutes late."

"No reason. I just don't want to arrive at time."

"...Are you telling me that you decided to be late?"

"No, Misato. I'm just teaching my son how to be fashionably on time."

Misato's eyes twitched, and it ended with an awkward silence. Well, it could've ended worse.

-evangelion-

So this is the end of the chapter where Shinji ran away, now featuring Gendo from Devil May-

Wait a minute.

Erm, anyway, I wonder what would happen if a scientific organization referenced Freud as much as Gehirn and NERV in real life. Considering that Freud often made both the best and worst psychologist on college boards, I'd imagine it would be a shitshow, their professionalism would be disputed, and the staff sanity would be questioned all the time.

Also, next chapter would contain an actual battle, against Ramiel-chan of course. Either Gendo would send dummy bots first, or he would bawled his eyes at the sight of his son turned into lobster. We'll see.


	5. Mistah G and Friends vs Ramiel!

"See that, my son? If I let you fight against the, uh...geometry shape angel, you would become a literal toast, I would grieve over your death, and Ritsuko will attempt to salvage your remains and somehow turn your resurrected body into a white haired freak or something."

"What?" My son became even more terrified. Then again, watching your elementary math object destroying mountains in one shot would have the same effect to everyone. Good thing I used the dummies under pretense of being an overprotective Commander.

"Never mind. Just my imagination going wild. Anyway, what's our plan?" I asked to Misato.

"We're going to use Positron Rifle. It will take the whole electricity in Japan to power it, so we will have to wait until 5 hours before we're able to secure the necessary power. Also, we're going to borrow some space shuttle shield."

"Excellent. It's even more bonkers than my plan to open a portal to demon world and get Dante and Vergil to clean our shit, so it will work!"

"...I'm sorry, why do you want two medieval poets to save us again?"

"Uh, Ritsuko. I think he meant Dante from Devil May Cry."

"I know. I just trying to ignore why our Commander hoped that fictional characters can finish our job."

"As I said, my imagination's going wild this night. Anyway, let's finish this! And put some refrigerants in the shield, it can give us some more seconds." I ordered, before Maya suddenly barged in. "Something's wrong, Maya-chan?"

"Um, sir? I just got a call that UN Navy Fleet. They'll be here soon to deliver Unit-02."

"Damn, this is not the best time. I need to call someone that can tell them to postpone it."

* * *

"So you can call them to slow down and take it easy? Good. We don't want to have the possibility of fighting two angels at the same time. Well, it's something in your suitcase that baiting them, so...no, don't dump it! If anything, we need it here so it won't attack anywhere else!" I screamed before I got satisfied by the answer, and when I ended the call, there was my child, standing in front of my door.

"Dad, what if I don't want to do this anymore?"

"Are you saying that geometry object terrify you, my son?"

"I-I mean, it shoot lasers that just destroyed a mountain, so, uh... yes?"

"Then Rei's going to do it in place of you. But since there's no one there to protect the other pilot with our shield, she only have one shot to do it, which means that her death is almost a certainty."

"...We really don't have much choice, huh?" Shinji asked rather bitterly.

"Indeed, we don't. Which is why we're getting Asuka, the Second Child here. It's just that we're unable to get her any quicker."

"So in case that she's already here, what would happen to me?"

"Well, you're going to be the backup. Her synchronization rate is higher than yours, and Rei's Evangelion is unsuitable for direct combat."

"I see." Shinji murmured, somehow looked hurt. Man, my boy's a wimp that tried too hard to hate himself. How could you wanted to get out while hurt by possibility of become a backup fighter?

"Hey, if anything, it's Rei that should be disappointed to herself. She's always purposed to become a pilot her whole life, and her sync rate is still lower than yours! I don't know why, but I swear, something needs to be done to get her stuff together and-" I stopped when I heard a soft cries by a girl outside, followed by the sound of someone running.

"Uh, was that Rei?"

"Uh, I think so, father."

"Crap. The last thing we need is for Rei to suffer depression. Rei, come back!" I ran to her. Luckily, I was much faster than her, so I managed to get her in the cafetaria.

"I failed you, Commander." She stated rather solemnly.

"No, Rei. It's just, uh...we don't know what makes your sync rate this bad. And don't blame yourself first, this one can be traced into something else. We just need to know what, and why." I reassured, and she still stood there without moving an inch, turned everything awkward. "Say, you may know about it. Something strange in the prototype?"

"I am afraid, Commander."

"Afraid of what?"

"My Eva. It tried to kill me."

"Strange. It supposed to be your predecessor." I muttered to the girl.

"Your wife's in Unit-01." Rei stated in confusion.

"No, I meant you. The previous Rei. Either it's you, or Naoko. Also, how many times do I have to tell you that you're not Yui?"

"I am sorry."

"No need for you to apologize, Rei. What you need, is to to embrace yourself." I said, tried to evoke the concept of girl power to a girl who never even questioned anything in her life a month before. "You're not a weak girl. You're strong. I created you to control Third Impact. You're supposed to be able to create the strongest AT-Field. And absorb them to strengthen yourself." I motivated my girl, and it worked. The solemn Rei had her eyes twinkled slightly, her eyebrow furrowed in determination. "So what you say, girl? Do you agree with me that you're a strong girl, not a mere doll?"

"You are correct, sir. You are." Rei smiled at me. She was so adorable I couldn't resist to hug her and-

..Was that an AT-Field slammed into my face?

 _"Blue pattern! Warning, Blue pattern!"_

"I'll tell them that it's just a false alarm."

"I am sorry. Somehow, I feel embarrassed being embraced by you."

"Don't worry. I used to be shy too."

* * *

"Uh,why's Rei's synchronization rate fluctuating between 10% and 90%?"

"She's trying to establish who's the alpha girl in the Eva. Go, Rei!" She responded by growling to something. "Uh, weird touch, but okay."

"Is that why there was a blue pattern thirty minutes ago?" I nodded to Fuyutsuki who just whispered. "Oh, god..."

"What are you afraid of? We have three really strong warriors now! Surely nothing can't go wrong?" I retorted before Shigeru screamed something about 350% sync rate and two Ayanamis in the pod, one of it fainter, scratching each others' hair, before Makoto added a new details; a faint glow of cackling woman hovering above both Ayanamis. Oh, so somehow I was careless enough to just throw two souls in it. I knew I should've trusted Ritsuko since the first time we met.

"He jinxed it. He jinxed what was supposed to be a simple weapon retrieval procedure." Well, my concubine definitely see me as an anomaly now.

"Sir, we locked the power of the Evangelion for a reason..."

"But she can talk! And loyal to boot! We will know what's wrong if that's the case?!" I retorted once more, only to had the Unit-00 shrieked and fell to the ground. "Um, are you okay, Rei?"

"I am fine." Indeed, she suffered no physical injury.

"Uh, synchronization rate at 45-70% now. It's still not stable, but at least she's not on the bare minimum anymore."

"Good! So, since Shinji's sync rate is only at 60%, does this means Rei should be the shooter instead?"

"I am afraid the answer is negative, sir. That fluctuation will ruin her accuracy."

"Well, it's better than nothing. Let's go and kickass, crew!"

* * *

"Look at this. We're fighting for the world, and I still haven't secured your payment. How about LeBron James' pay?" I said suddenly after stared at the scenery of the sniper spot for so long.

"L-LeBron-LeBron..."

"It sounds astronomical."

"Bah! Your monthly Evangelion repair budget is at 10 billions, and that's before we get Unit-02. LBJ's 50 millions salary is pocket change compared to it."

"F-f-fifty m-mill..."

"But we may be irresponsible in using it, sir. We are teenagers, after all."

"Even you?" I wiggled my eyebrows at Rei.

"My...newest medicine made me susceptible to influence, sir. Thrift spending included." Rei argued with me, which was, frankly, sound and profound.

"Fine! If you insist, I'll keep most of the money, while you two get ten million yens of monthly spending, and if you want to buy something big, then you two have to discuss it with me first. How about it?"

"I agreed with your term. What do you think, Ikari-kun?" Rei asked to her partner, who still blabbered about my generosity and high salary that he will receive in the future. Frowned a little at being ignored, my pale pilot decided to lean forward and whispered the boy's name to his ear, unknowingly sounded seductive to everyone else. I chuckled while making a note on to teach the girl some real life manners. She was fine as test subject, but she deserved to know how to have a life outside it.

That startled my boy...and made him turned around too quickly and made their lips clashed. Unfortunately Shinji turned around really too quickly, and their first kiss ended up hurting more than pleasuring.

"Ooh..."

I struggled to hold my laughter, and by the time it subdued they already recovered from it, although Shinji refused to look on both of us, being embarrassed by the ordeal. "Are you two fine?"

"I am so sorry, Rei! I am very, very sorry! I will do everything it take for you to forgive me and-"

"I am uninjured. Also, it wasn't all unpleasant, sir. His lips is very soft."

"I will even ask the court to give me a restrain order and-huh? Y-you do?"

"Indeed, it was." Said the girl, smiled at my boy. The lighting from the moon made her look like an angel, and not that kind of monstrous angel that she originated from. It was the angel that will melt everyone's heart, and judging by how much my boy blushed, I think she already did it.

"But, Rei...I did something stupid. I can't be at peace if I haven't done something to pay my mistake."

"I think I just need a proper kiss." She then surprised me and Shinji as she pressed her lips into his own. By the time she ended their kiss, she already unconsciously straddled Shinji, who sat down in shock over being kissed. Ohoho, this is getting good!

"That was wonderful. I wish to do it again soon." Rei stated after she released Shinji...who already passed out with a big grin on his face. "Um, did I do something wrong?"

"He's overloaded with happiness. Also, you do realize that you straddled him in a rather sensual manner, right?" I asked Rei, who turned into a red lobster after she realized what she did at the heat of the moment. Oh, the joy of young love.

* * *

"Okay, Shinji. Just go steady, lean a little to the left since the wind coming from that side, and shoot it when you're ready and-"

 _"Warning. Blue pattern detected."_

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Please tell me it's just another false alarm." Ritsuko muttered before she looked into a feed from a drone. And indeed, it showed everyone that there was a leviathan coming at us. "Oh no."

"Hold on. There's someone in that ship that hadn't done their job." I said while trying to hold my anger back, and unleashed it to the right man. "I told you to tell the Captain to slow down! What the hell, Kaji?"

 _"The dumbass didn't want to listen to me! He thought he could wait in nearest dock instead! And now Asuka's going to fight that thing without underwater equipment! Asuka, stop!"_

"Wait! I got it! I think I got a new idea." I said, and it helped to curb panic. "Everyone, if we're lucky, we won't even need to use the shield and have time to improve on it. Kaji, you need to bait the sixth angel out of there, preferably the fifth angel too."

 _"Uh, no offense, sir, but how a normal human like me can bait something that big?"_

"Smash the embryo into your hand. Then you'll have the power and the truth."

 _"You mean, as it the truth about the whole impact, or..."_

"Yes!"

" _Uh, okay._ " Kaji said before I heard a crunching sound, followed by curses as sickening sounds of something wooden engulfed something. I then heard the sound of AT-Field being activated.

My plan worked like a charm. I was a genius, and still does!

* * *

"Mein Gott! What is happening with Kaji-san? And where did that AT-Field come from?"

"Don't worry, Asuka! I can... **feel the power inside me! No wonder you want it so much, Commander.** "

Next thing anyone knew, he was levitating.

"The fuck? You're levitating? How?!

Kaji answered Asuka by flying around the Angel, who followed him and stopped his path of destruction on the fleet.

"What the hell is going on here?"

" _Don't ask now. Just follow him_!" The Commander ordered to Asuka, who obliged. She chose to follow in this chaos.

* * *

"Ramiel has removed its focus to the fleet! And there's something...flying there. Is that the part of the angel?"

"Sir, we now have three identifiable blue patterns! What's going on?"

"That's Kaji." I stated simply.

"WHAT?"

"You hear me. Kaji absorbed some kind of embryo, and turned into a Superman! With AT-Field! Isn't that great?" I said cheerfully.

"The hell? Are you telling me that Kaji have turned into some kind of angel?!" Misato screamed at me.

"Not exactly. Just...empowered by it. And hey! I almost forgot. Shinji, try to fire when they're lined up. You don't need to shoot both of their core in one shot. You just need to wound the fish, so prioritize the geometry shape angel. Got it?"

"Uh, yes sir?"

 **"Okay, can someone just shoot it now please? I don't want to be sandwiched between an angel with super beam and a leviathan."**

Unfortunately, it was apparent that Ramiel could detect an attack incoming, as when Shinji's charging shot finished, the angel suddenly turned around and shoot at us. Good thing that Rei was there, for she managed to stop the beam using the shield. After I screamed to Shinji to ignore her melting armor, he finally took a shot, shot it right at the center. I managed to tell Kaji to sway and dodged the attack, and he pulled it off.

It was a success; Ramiel exploded into goo of blood, and Gaghiel was floating like a bloated whale carcass. Well, the blue pattern for Gaghiel was still on, but it was obvious that we managed to incapacitate it.

 **"Pyuh! That almost got me in crossfire. No need for my epitaph to say that I got killed by whole Japanese's electricity!"**

"Yes! We got it! Asuka, kill Gaghiel now!"

"No need to tell me twice!" Said Asuka, more than willing to charge on the still recovering angel. The result was just as expected.

* * *

"Ah! So everything went better than expected. The Second Child arrived faster than schedule, and another reliable soldier. And my boss just simply attributed Gaghiel appeared out of order to an unwritten event in the scroll, and we managed to hide Kaji's ordeal, so we were not getting the blame. What could possibly go wrong?" I said to myself before someone called me. It was Misato. "Yes, Major?"

 _"GIVE MY NON-ANGEL BOYFRIEND BACK! NOW!"_

Man, I thought Misato would've liked the tentacles...

* * *

Well there it was. The battle that you have been waiting for. Also, who should become the superman in this story? Gendo or Kaji?


	6. Mistah G's Subordinate vs Jet Alone!

"So Shinji, it's time for you to know bird and bees. But since you, uh, already know how to tug the rug, we're going straight to the nasty stuffs instead. First of all, if you intend to do Rei in the immediate future-

"Uh, dad..."

"Know this: you are too small physically to do stuffs in porno, and even then they're not always meant to be realistic for even grown ups like me. That means yes, you can't do her like one of your dream-"

"Dad-"

"And sex means protection, boy! You need to treat your girl properly. And probably lube for a barely grown up girl since the girl at his age is so tender. So I won't give you my blessing to screw her raw-"

"DAD!"

"I assume that since you keep interrupting me, then I need to address something. What is it, son?"

"You embarrassed me in front of Rei, Asuka and Misato..."

And there I saw it; two girls and one woman, and in Rei's case, a very red-faced girl.

"Uh, how much did you three listened to me?"

"All of it."

"I think I'm going to be sick..." Asuka said as she ran into the bathroom.

"Did you do this because Shinji-kun want to make love with me, s-sir?"

"It's more of intervention, Rei. Anyway, what are you three doing here?"

"Oh, me and Asuka want to talk about Agent Kaji, sir. Rei-chan, on the other hand, just want to meet her cute little Shinji," Misato said, her sour expression instantly changed upon talking with the new couple. Warmer, but sternly at the same time. "Remember Rei; when you go shopping, I mean really go shopping. Don't spend your money to buy the...prevention stuffs. Those are my money, and they're strictly for other kind of fun."

"But I don't even bleed."

That disturbed the rest of us a little since Rei insinuated that she really wanted to make love with my son. "Actually, your new medication allow you to now. So yeah, be careful now."

"I will keep that in mind. Now, can we go to the mall together and accompany me in shopping, Shinji?"

My boy looked so happy, I swore he floated on his way to Rei's side. After I gave both of them permission to go to the mall, I asked Misato, "Ah, young love. Now what is it, Major?"

"Have you decided to turn Ryoji back to normal?"

"Look, we're dealing with the new stuff here. We're going to need more time to even decide the best thing to do-"

"LET KAJI BECOME SUPERHERO, PLEASE?" Asuka ran to me from the bathroom. She gave me her best puppy eyes to convince me. But I didn't need it.

"Ah, finally someone on my side!" I said, ignoring how it pissed my Major off.

"Can you two please take it seriously? Kaji's now being turned into an angel by the embryo thing, which he admitted was for YOU, Commander, and both of you are joyed by the fact that he's turned into superhuman instead?"

"Misato, we all know that there's possible complication in Kaji's new adventure as the world's first superhuman-"

"GIVE MY BOYFRIEND-"

"HE WILL MAKE A GREAT SUPER-" I raised my hand to stop the two from spitting more saliva into my face, and they grumpily agreed to just slumped back into their seat.

"Which is why he's currently quarantined under Geofront until we finished his armor," I finished. That placated the woman for a while, albeit now I had to feed her curiosity regarding new stuffs. "Armor? What's a piece of body protection going to do with the power changes?"

"First of all, we need to know if armor like the Evangelion can restrict his power. For your information, the armor's there not just for protection, but also to keep our Evangelion's power to controllable level. The Evangelion, after all, were made out of alien technology. There's a reason why despite all the upgrade possibility, so far E-Project is basically nothing but giant beating stick with ability to use AT-Field, and regenerative ability that still doesn't make sense to us."

"Can't we just remove the limit already? I want the world to see just how much Asuka Sohryu can kick asses!"

"You want Second Impact happened again, Second Child? This whole thing is a dangerous business," my words shut Asuka's mouth as she went to reconsider things.

"S...Second Impact? What are we using here, sir?" Ah, yeah. Misato's still here. Good thing alien technology's still enough as defense.

"As I said, alien technology. And unlike stuffs like hard drive, where there's three to four decades of development before it turn into what we use today, this alien technology's not even touched with a fifty foot pole until two decades ago. And what Kaji brought here, was the item that will improve our knowledge in this area, and unfortunately it turned out that it made him into...that. So all we can do, is to keep the research going while applying what we know at this time to make sure he'll be okay. Otherwise, Second Impact can happen again in this city."

"Oh," Misato simply muttered as everything came to her. "I...need to rethink my stance in NERV, sir. I was blinded my revenge, so I didn't read the fine print that thorough."

"That's okay, take your time."

She left the room, probably to think about her job. Oh wait, she didn't leave her badge, so perhaps it was to do the thinking.

"So what's Kaji going to be, sir?"

"Yeah. With Superman power. Or Martian Manhunter."

"Yay!" Asuka cheered, not looking like a pretentious kid want to be adult for the first time. She caught on however, and coughed before clarified herself. "Ehm, I mean, it is good to hear that."

"Asuka, you don't need to be so formal in this setting. Especially since we're not discussing the heavy stuffs anymore."

The pretty red-haired girl nodded at me. Well unfortunately it wasn't the right time to tackle her mommy and fake pride issue, but I will do it sometimes.

* * *

 _Later, in the Super-Kaji test..._

"So how does it feel to become Super Iron-Man, Agent?"

 **"I feel energized all the time. Is it normal?"**

"Well the Angels have S2 engine that made them have full energy all the time. We're trying to replicate them in the future, but it's not easy," Ritsuko explained to the man.

 **"So I'm necessary for that step? Good to know."**

"Well, not that much, but we also got robbed since the council got the S2 engine from the Fourth Angel. With you however, we can have our own data that may have further uses. Data that may shall become unavailable to even SEELE, if I may add."

 **"So we're going to spite the old fossils with this? Count me in, guys."** Ah, the smell of anti-corporation. Beautiful.

Before anyone could respond to Kaji, Misato appeared in the door, flabbergasted by what she just heard. Seemed like she still hadn't make a choice. "I can't believe that you appealed to Kaji's rebellious nature. And as your girlfriend, I order you to start taking this seriously!"

 **"Whoa! So I also got my super hot old flame back? I really start to like this new me!"**

What Kaji said made Misato's eyes twitched. The Major, or in this case, the renewed girlfriend stomped out of the room, screamed: "IDIOTS! I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS! AND KAJI! YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

 **"Uh, is this our new kink or-"** Misato answered Kaji's question by slamming the door. **"I think that means she's mad for real."**

"I didn't know that Misato screaming doesn't always mean she's mad as hell," my new lover commented. Oh, I still couldn't decide to bring Yui back or not, by the way. Of course without that convergent event using the not-so-clone of my wife.

 **"Trust me, Ritsuko. We have done many things together."**

Suddenly, before someone can ask or teased him regarding their love life, an alarm blared on the base. God, I hope it wasn't the Seventh Angel... "Aoba, Hyuga, Ibuki, what's going on?"

 _"It's the Jet Alone, sir! They tried to activate it in Old Tokyo, and now it going to our city! Oh dear, I just made a threeway reservation-"_

I closed the intercom before Maya blundered her recent...hot yoga session again. Last time I heard it, I had to flush my ear because it was just that nasty. "Eh, let's pretend we did not hear the last part from Maya. So we still have to earn the new budget. Oh well, at least we already have the codes to stop the thing, right?"

"What budget?"

Uh oh. I did not like to hear my scientist sounded that clueless... "You know, the money from Jet Alone project?"

"It's already ours, Commander. Fuyutsuki authorized it when you're temporarily displaced by Major Katsuragi."

"Then...why's it going haywire?"

"Unauthorized activation?"

Oh. That sounded terrible. "You know, you sounded way too calm in this situation."

"Because we have two Evangelion, which mind you far stronger than Jet Alone's specification. And the budget was taken off just before they perfected the nuclear reactor. Even if we failed to neutralize it in time, the explosion won't get too strong and-

 _"Oh my god, it left nuclear waste everywhere!"_

 _"What the hell? Who made nuclear shotgun shells as their weapon?!"_

Ritsuko's face soured at instant after she heard what happened. And nuclear gun? I thought this is Evangelion World, not Fallout Universe! "Okay, it's time to panic."

* * *

"Okay, Shinji, Asuka! The robot have nuclear gun as a weapon. But your Evangelion's able to withstand nuclear waste as long as you keep your AT Field at its strongest. So one of you have to distract the robot, while the other one will carry Misato to the robot itself to deactivate it."

"Who's going to do the distraction?"

"Obviously, thanks to my superior training experience and lacks of previous battle damage, I am the most suitable to carry Misato to defuse the chamber as fast as we could," Asuka boasted.

"Good observation, Second Child. However, you shall not charge at the Jet Alone until it get distracted. Wait until Third Child become his main target. This new nuclear gun could be filled with something even more dangerous, such as N2 pellets."

"Yeah, yeah I got it. Ninja style, Ninja style."

"And Third Child," I caught my son's interest. "This is teamwork. One superstar still needs a teammate that can give them 100%. And for Second Child, just because you're the strongest here that doesn't mean you can ignore your friend. Two heads are better than one, after all."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Okay, Misato's in, Asuka have pinned down the Jet Alone, and Shinji's unscathed in the battle. Nothing gone wrong so far.

Wait. Let me take that line back! I did not want to tempt my fate!

 _"Surprise, Ikari The Creep!"_

Aaand it started... "Who called me that?"

 _"Oh, nothing. It's just one of the guy who lost his job thanks to your stinky politicking."_

"Ah. The guy who ran the Jet Alone project. Are you telling me that you used the last of your money to create that nuclear shotgun?"

 _"No, I borrowed money from several people to do it. With only 30% interest rate."_

"...Goodness, you are an idiot," Ritsuko commented at what he did to achieve revenge.

 _"If that's what you think, then do you think an idiot...can DO THIS!"_

Then we see the supposed new menace that he brought.

It was unconvincing.

"...Three cannons? How innovative."

"Isn't that the cannon that we just decommissioned before? Add to the charges against this gentleman, Kozo. Theft and everything similar with that."

"Dully noted."

 _"Not just any cannon, fine sir. This one is filled with better ammo. Something called...non-nuclear?"_

"N2 shells? Second and Third Child, get out of there!"

 _"I can't! Misato's still nowhere finished!"_

"Cut the damn thing into smaller pieces and get out with just the core chamber!" I gave another order in frantic speed. That N2 bullets could ended up being fatal to any of them.

Unfortunately, Asuka was not fast enough, and my son ended up taking a blast from one of the cannon that got its attention right after he diverted the attention from those for mere 20 seconds. If my son survived I'll make sure that the goddamn psychiatrist will be here to get him an actual medication and for everyone's stress and trauma-

...The AT Field's still able to block the blast. What the hell is this, you kidding me right? I was getting riled up for nothing?

"Hey, that didn't hurt as much as I thought it would be."

"That idiot. He could've tweaked it into five times stronger than nuclear without any new stuff, but instead he used it without any changes."

 _"Because that's not the real surprise!"_

An N2 rocket suddenly sailed from a battleship, and it was sent to the two Evangelions! OH MY GOOOOOOD!

 _"MWAHAHAHA! You fell for my trap! All that happened before was just a bait, and you took it! And don't even try to run, because it will detect your AT Field and...huh? What's that?"_

It seemed that the hero of the day would be a character that ended up dying even faster than before.

 **"Asuka, Shinji, go make the run for it. Let me handle the rocket bomb."**

"KAJI, NO!"

"You can't leave us! There's no one in the NERV that's manly enough to replace you!" Uh, I think my beard disagree.

"Don't worry, my cutie pies. I have more tricks in the bag to handle this."

Kaji blared his own AT Field, and the rocket ended up followed his flying trajectory.

Kaji. God bless your soul for taking the hit.

 _"Hmph! So all I did it taking out your newest project. Well it doesn't matter. You will still have to face scrutiny for your failure, and maybe even get replaced for you incompetence!"_

 **"You forgot one thing, Mr. Fuji! Before I entered the flying project, I was a well-accomplished agent."**

"Yeah, so?"

Kaji stopped in front of an office and...oh Ryoji, you are a genius.

 **"I already know where you are all this time from the poorly protected frequency that you used,"** the angel-human hybrid taunted before he left something at the wall of the building. Whatever it was, it made the rocket locked on into the building, ignoring the man flying to escape the explosion.

Ah, I never knew the screaming of someone in his death moment could be so satisfying in real life.

* * *

"So Misato agreed to you become an Iron Man and Martian Manhunter hybrid?"

 **"She initially begrudgingly agreed to this, but after seeing my performance she decided that I could pull it off,"** Kaji summarized what Misato's decision was.

"Well that's all good to hear. Have any news regarding the nuclear gun investors?"

 **"Sadly nothing come up so far. The investors are much smarter than the Jet Alone project leader."**

"It's fine, we know it's too easy so far. Anyway, this is going to be awkward, but do you have any trauma in life? We will have a new psychologist and psychiatrist team soon, and it will be good to know everyone's ailment is."

 **"Aside from knowing several brutalized relatives, I have none sir."**

"Good to know. I still wondering if I should place myself with the abusive father complex group. I got over it, but scar never truly heals. Also there's already too many people admitted into the family trouble group," I admitted to the man while slid a list to the man.

 **"...It's like 90% of the important people here. Only Maya and Vice Commander that are safe from anything related to Freud. What's the chance of having a working place this fucked up?"**

"According to Magi, it's 0.2 percent," I deadpanned.

* * *

Well that's all for now. Until the next time, everyone!

Also, Kaji's power is still undecided aside from flying brick standard and AT Field manipulation, which was how he left an AT-Fielded thing that ended up lured the rocket. You could give your suggestion here, but he won't be too powerful here.


	7. Mistah G vs Mental Issues!

Ah, another day of my life as the rest of the crew got their well-deserved mental checkup.

Yup. This organization just got its mental health support via several psychiatrists and psychologists! No more unresolved daddy or mommy issue, and no more-

"Commander, may I speak with you?"

Well, the good lead psychiatrist was here. Better answer her and give everything not confidential to her.. "Of course, Mrs. Megure. Is anything wrong?"

"Your guess was...almost 100% accurate. All of them suffer from unresolved issue with their parents, especially Pilot Sohryu."

Some were not guesses, ma'am. But I'm afraid I couldn't tell you the real reason how I knew it. "Some of it had been documented with their history. Especially Pilot Sohryu and Major Katsuragi. Asuka, her mother went insane after a botched test, and she was the one who found her body after her suicide. Meanwhile Misato had a father who got busy in his work, and before they could amend things he sacrificed himself to save him from Second Impact's point blank. It would definitely put dent into their psych."

"That...was really bad. And your son, I believe he have repressed memory of his mother. But what he remembered, was that he was left by you alone in a station, before your relative picked him."

I could noticed her looking at me in disgust, and frankly the old Gendo truly deserved that. "I am deeply ashamed of so many things I have done, doctor. When Yui stood alongside me, I feel like I can do everything I want. But her death...left me a wreck. My job was getting bigger and riskier at the same time too. I had to leave him, or I'm afraid I would hurt him."

"So, to put it bluntly, you took what you perceived as the coward way," Ouch. "You created this mask of cold indifference to make people stay away from you. But during this period, you noticed that this mask of you...also created this persona. People started to get attracted to you, thinking you're this enigmatic man. You got your women, titles, leaderships. And now here you are, listening to me interpreting what you said about yourself."

"Yes. That's all true. And to make it worse, I haven't told him the reasons for everything that happened to him in the past."

"Well, you and your son are pretty peculiar. You two sell your self-worth rather short. You are charismatic, and your son's a great fighter. But you two are so afraid of being hurt by a mistake, you trying to stay alone. And despite of this, you did a terrible job at doing that. You with your charisma, and your son with his kindness. Well, at least that's what used to be," the doctor's indifference look finally turned into a warm one. "The files from recent months showed your changes, and I'm happy to say that your major problems with your son are behind."

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Of course, it doesn't mean you two are cured completely. For one, your son still repressed his memory regarding his mother. I think you need to talk with him sooner or later regarding this."

"We already prepared a file that explain his mother's death, which probably already given by my Major, but you're right that direct approach would be much better," although I didn't know how I would explain that Rei contained 2% of Yui's undamaged genetics and other DNA constituted of other humans just to make sure she won't fall apart. Especially since 25% of them were genetics of people with one or two similar feature with Yui.

"And, to finish this session, I have one request. We're going to talk about what you want to do since a long time ago. You don't need to tell the biggest desire that you have, just one aspiration that have been tugging on you since a long time."

Oh, thank goodness. I did not want to discuss about my wife, that would be too awkward. "Well, there's one thing I have in mind since I finished college. Is it okay to take a dump on your father's grave?"

"...Excuse me?"

"If there's someone to blame at, it's my father. Kazuya Rokubungi. That no good man was the one who started this cycle of abuse. And as far as I know, the only excuse he had was that Imperialism and Nazi beliefs he held in his youth. I do not remember much about his career as businessman, but I remember him beating me everytime he failed to make a half-boiled egg. So in a nutshell, he's just a sore loser. You know, kinda like that prick in Eureka Seven who beating Renton for his own failures. Except he never changed," and damn right he was. Also, Eureka was basically Rei-inspired character, lol.

"Oh. Uh...I didn't know that, and I'm truly sorry to hear that. But even in western culture, that disrespect against your parent was...something else. I'd advise you to not doing that. Unless we don't have any ruling about it, but..."

"Don't worry, this is just me talking about it. I'm not taking it too seriously at all, but this thought have been bugging me since a long time ago."

* * *

"So let me get this straight. You want me to create a clone of you with the Lilith DNA so we can age it up, make it 65 years old, order it to piss on your father's grave, and excused it as some kind of revenge from your distant uncle that have been wronged by your father?"

"Yup!" I affirmed what I wanted by great enthusiasm.

"You gotta be kidding me, Gendo."

"Come on, Kozou! That old man deserved it! And all of us could feign ignorance. I mean, come on! I just found out last month that my fifth-cousin nearly died in the mountain that Fifth Angel destroyed! The excuse will hold!"

"Okay, okay! It's not like I have any shred of fondness toward your old man, either."

"YAY! We're going to shit on my daaad! We're going to shit on my daaad!"

"Gendo, cut it out! Someone could-" *click!* "Heard you..."

Fucking hell. I thought my privilege made people scared to even knock at the door without the intercom?

Oh no. That means the one who entered the room was that evil, old piece of shit Keel, or...

It's Ritsuko. And she looked like she just lost her soul.

"I, uh...it's exactly what it looks like?" I had nothing to justify what she just witnessed, and I decided to give her the most banal honesty.

"Gendo, I really don't want to know."

"I can offer you to shit on your grandma if you-" unfortunately, the door slammed before I could give the irrefusable offer.

"Gendo, what were you thinking? Do you really think everyone have problem with their parents?"

"Naoko talked about it before, actually." and I won the argument as Kozo decided to shut up.

* * *

Well the battle against the twin's here, and I still hadn't make any progress with our Second Child.

"Let me show you what a pro looks like, Third Child!" and her false ego still hadn't been knocked off due to me waiting off. The doctor was right, Gendo's a coward.

"Technically, he has more field experience compared to you," Misato countered.

"Shut up!" in anger, Asuka charged into the angel and cleaved it into two halves. As she gloated, the thing turned into two entities, grabbed Unit-02, and threw it into sand for her trouble. Her head was planted into the ground, turned the whole thing into Looney Tunes-esque situation.

"Well at least we know the AT-Field of Seventh Angel is weak," I drew the silver lining from the situation. Meanwhile, my boy struggled against it, and he tried to attack both its core. They just returned into its singular form and kicked his unprepared ass again.

Luckily, my man Kaji flared his AT-Field, taking away the attention from the Seventh Angel as it started to chase him instead. It gave time to Shinji for a recuperation, and after he regained his footing, he took Unit-01 to pull Asuka out of the crater.

"Guys, there's an N2 bomb in our arsenal. Grab it before they managed to get Kaji."

"Got it. Third Child, stay here! Help Kaji in case they got him."

Well, I had to admit; that's a better strategy, Asuka.

Especially since they nearly grasped Kaji in their hands already.

* * *

"Okay, guys. This fight was...an embarrassment to us, to say the least. Well, the part where Unit-02 tried to become a javelin, at least. Both of you at least managed to suppress it before we dropped N2 on it, so...you still did a good job?"

"But you still went against our order, Pilot Sohryu. And this is your first warning," Misato warned the girl who acted like she did not listen to my best planner.

"Correct. One could only guess what would happen if both of you attacked at the same time. Maybe we can-"

"Hey, that thing got its core sliced, and when Shinji struck its twin form, they healed in instant! How are we supposed to defeat it in the first place?"

"But if you waited for me, maybe none of us would be humiliated that badly!" Shinji offered his own opinion.

"That's rich coming from the one who had to be saved by Kaji!" and my boy...actually stared her back? OMG, he's growing so much! Sniff, sniff.

"Hey! That's enough, you two! You were supposed to be preserving your integrity, not making it worse!" Misato barked at both of them, who backed away after her warning.

"Return to topic. From the look of it, both of them have to be defeated at the very exact time. This means a strike on both its core need to be penetrated by a synchronized attack. Unfortunately, six days is not enough to create a weapon with that ability, so we're going to make you attack it at the same time!"

 **"So we're going to use my dancing-"**

"Agent Kaji, with all respect, that idea's daft," I rebuked his offer and...the guy actually sobbed after I rebuked his idea? He really wanted to be a choreographer, wasn't he? "But if it's fighting choreography, it would be a different case. After all, only Asuka that had any martial arts training. The other two pilots could get some, increasing their ability on field in the future while accomplishing their job at the same time. It's a win-win situation for us."

"But I'm already black belt in two martial arts! I can't lower myself to their level, or wait until they get as good as me!"

"I didn't say anything about making them learning to become black belt in six days. All you need is a partner that can kick and punch at the very exact same time as you. So either you're going to teach Rei and Shinji your Taekwondo and Jeet Kune Do, with just the basic so your partner Evangelion can kick the twin angel's asses at the same time, or," I showed them the display of Kaji's dumb plan that somehow worked in the canon, "you two are going to live together everyday, wear the same clothes everyday, and doing DDR game all days and nights. Did I mention that you two will wear leotard from the worst of 80s?"

Everyone, even Ritsuko and Rei, looked at the outfit and plan with disgust. And it was enough to make Asuka relented. "Okay, okay! I'll do it! Anything but that leotard!"

"Good. Also, I would like to have some words with you after this, Asuka. Don't worry, you're not in trouble. But I require for everyone else to leave this room as soon as possible."

Asuka exhaled after I reassured her, and the rest of them soon went with their own business. After we're sure no one else left in the room, we get our little chat.

"So...what is it, Commander?"

"Have you heard about the purpose of drill sergeant?"

"Well, they're there to break and mold the soldiers, sir," good answer, Asuka. At least this means you were trained adequately.

"Good, because I would hate it if you have grudge against me for telling you this: out of all the important people here, you're easily the most fragile mentally."

"EXCUSE ME?"

"Sorry for not mincing words, but that's exactly what happened here. I am afraid that your bravado to cover how your mother's insanity make you feel like shit will turn into something much worse in the future."

"If you want to suggest how to deal with it, then I'll tell you that I'm an adult that can handle it alone, thank you."

"Oh, do you?" I asked again. "It took me ten years to get it together, and amended things with my son, and even then there are still unresolved issues between us. What make you believe you have the better approach?"

"For one, I have become the prodigy! I have degrees at 13 years old!"

"And I currently command the strongest force in the world, with maintenance cost that can bankrupt every smaller country. But I am not stubborn enough to refuse to admit I have problems."

"And I'm not going to hear an Amish trying to be an armchair psychologist!"

"Except NERV's psychologist said that...Ugh. Asuka," I stopped myself from lashing out against Asuka. Goddamn, she could be insufferable, "you got your Bachelor's degree at the age of 13 years old. That's one hell of an achievement. Every parent would be very proud at their children for pulled that off. Hell, if I was your father, I would hug you already."

"There's always a chance it's not enough for her."

Well, here goes nothing. "That's a dilemma you have, young girl. You want to please your mother, who have passed away since a long time ago, and you have this imagination spot that your mother have such a high standard for you, she won't be satisfied with something as big as having a genius kid with college degree at tween age."

"What...are you insinuating, sir?"

"That deep down, you wonder if you hate not just your father, but also your mother."

Next thing I knew, I stared at Asuka gritted her teeth while holding one of her heel in my left palm. She cursed me before telling how much she hated me, and by god she had a way with words. But as she left the room with trails of tears, I had another stuff in my sleeve."

"You won't after I tell you this: there's a log chat between Yui and your mama before the activation experiment drained her sanity."

"W...what? What are you talking about? What good it could be?"

"You can learn about your true mother, not the woman your four years old self had complex but shallow memories."

The girl then walked to me, while I prepared to say sorry and returned her heel.

...And punched me in the gut. Hard.

"THAT'S FOR NOT OFFERING THE E-MAILS IN THE FIRST PLACE!" the girl shouted at my face, before her face softened. "W...was confronting me in our first meeting really necessary?"

"Ugh...yeah, it did. Better having you subconsciously admitted you're wrong this soon. If you broke down in the battle instead, you will be an easy target, and everything will go horribly, horribly wrong from that moment. You may get your synchronization rate lowered to single digit after, you may keep making mistakes to keep up your bravado, you may even died after...With this, at least someone can throw you some bone after they break you."

"Sir, you're really weird. But at least you're nicer than what I've heard," the girl smiled at me as she called me weird, and her sobs became more infrequent. Also I would take that as a thanks.

"Yeah, and this nice person will let you go for punching me that hard," Asuka laughed, and the tension lowered further. "And I never see most of them, but I'll tell you this: your mother was a wonderful person, and it's really tragic what happened to her."

"I don't need your pity, Commander, so keep it."

"Well I am the same with you, so I understand your condition," I retorted.

"Y...your friend became insane in a failed experiment?"

"No. It's my wife. She got sucked into the core without any trace of her. All we retrieved was 2% of undamaged DNA, 35% of partially undamaged DNA, and the rest was unrecognizable."

"Wow. I...really didn't know that. I guess that truly makes us on the same page, huh?"

Yeah, except no one used your mother corpse to turn it into half-human hybrid and turned it into your sister or something. "Yeah, we are. And Shinji by proxy too, so treat him good, okay?"

"As long as he don't holding me back!" she said as she started to walk out of my office.

"Oh, have faith in him. He got 40% synchronization rate in first try, after all."

"But he's still not as good as me, The Great Asuka!" Asuka's voice echoed from the hallway, sounded a little more natural after our conversation.

Well, that gone well. Now how am I going to explain about Yui and Rei to Shinji? The DNA part alone was nonsensical, but I really burned all pictures of Yui. And I supposed the professor did the same too.

Wait. I got it.

Her school and university must still have her photos!

And if my memories were right, her middle school photos would reveal the differences...

* * *

Sorry for the drama part, but I wanted to do it. Next time would be nothing but hilarity.


	8. Mistah G and Friends vs 7th Angel!

It had been three days since my son's prepared to fight against that twin angel with Second and First Pilot. They definitely deserved a nice visit from the great Commander. It's the least thing I could do after being so busy with work for days. Damn that robotic fossil bastard.

And-oh! There was Hikari, Kensuke and Touji already.

"Ah, you two! And you are..."

"Class representative Horaki Hikari. We're here to see Asuka and Shinji. What are you here for, Commander?" whoa! It turned out Hikari knew me! Her parents must be working around NERV as well.

Oh shit. That means some sick bastard really killed close relatives of many NERV workers at minimum just to get more than three pilot candidates. And yeah, you didn't need dead mom all the time, just a relative with decent enough emotional bond for you. Although the closer the bond was, the stronger the sync rate will be. And for most of time, nothing could beat the love of mother...

"That's Shinji's father, Class Rep!" Touji explained.

"Oh. Well, we can just give it to you so we won't disturb your son and-"

"Nonono! You three are welcome here. But let me tell you: Shinji and Asuka are currently on training to defeat the 7th Angel. Rei's here to train her hand-to-hand combat skill as well. So don't bother them too much."

"Really? Wow, and here I already mailed what she missed on school like usual."

"...Rei really missed school that much, didn't she?" man, I need to reschedule Rei's usual tank routine. If she had to go with the Instrumentality, she needed several real thinkers. Can't just use me and my kid to make it work. And she needed to have a bare minimum knowledge of the good, the bad and the ugly of society to know how to do that.

But first, let me take a look inside the apartment with the keyhole and-

Uh oh. Those two darned kids were trading saliva again. And this time, my son did not need to pay for something. Yeah, those two were in love, and they grew up so fast. Maybe a little too fast.

"Commander?"

"Ah, I think Asuka's not in the apartment right now," I tried to wave them away to prevent any insanity from seeing Shinji and Rei being together, but I couldn't help myself to see more. Also what I said's probably the truth. There was no way Asuka would tolerate the two making out in the middle of the apartment.

Okay, Rei. I've told you no pants and zipper game! Look at Shinji, girl. He's in verge of heart attack from all your doings!

"Hey! Anyone home?" what we've heard were choked Rei, my son coughed out a response, and audible scrambling on the house. It took them long enough to open the door, and even then they still had messed hair and wrinkled clothes. It was so obvious what they were doing, even to someone who didn't peeking at the keyhole.

Rei, Shinji, I expected better coverup, and you two disappointed me.

"...What in Kami's name were you two doing?" Hikari asked while Touji and Kensuke made kissy-kissy face behind her, making both children under my control blushed harder.

Well, take it in good stride, you two. At least the trio didn't see you in that hideous 80s fashion.

* * *

"Now Rei, what I've told you about going too fast?" I asked, leaving Shinji to be with himself and his three friends. It looked petty, but Rei had no one but me and Shinji.

Oh, who am I kidding. The three won't even be brave enough to do anything with Rei. I just wanted to keep the mood light enough with all the teasing, lol.

"I am sorry, Commander. Shinji's enjoyed all that I've done, and I can't help myself after seeing how much he appreciates me..." the girl couldn't even look at my eyes. Oh boy, she was shamed!

"I understand, but still...you two need to control yourself. Shinji's the kind of boy who often see himself as burden, so there's always a chance he'll feel lower instead of proud for dating a pretty girl like you. And with how you get so aggressive, he might feel bad..."

"It won't happen again," Rei reassured, still bowing her head in shame.

"Hey, it's new with you two, so considering all things, you didn't mess up that badly," I tried to encourage Rei a bit. "I mean you two really needed to keep your head high. There will be more turbulent time, like when you need to tell who you are exactly."

"Sir, can you tell me my exact creation's purpose? You told me recently that Instrumentality wasn't my original purpose."

"Well, initially we just wanted to create a dummy system, both because SEELE need more data and also because we wanted to beat them in their own game. After a while however we concluded a contaminated human genetics from an angel experiment is needed, just like Nagisa himself, especially since I also decided that we need to take control of Instrumentality. So that's when I, with hope that I didn't end up insulting Yui's name, using what we salvaged of her. And I'll tell you girl, I'd rather forget what we got from her remains. I mean holy god, it was the ugliest thing I ever see in my life! Half of the workers there gagged as soon as we see what became of her!"

"I see. How much of her's me, anyway?" Rei said, not flinching a bit that she was created from what could be described as blob of flesh.

"I didn't even want to find out the exact data, but I had to read the bare minimum of the report, and Yui's pure, surviving DNA is at low 5 percents at most. Luckily, there's much more of her partially undamaged DNA, enough to map her overall characteristics. All we need is to use DNA from random people with one or two similar facial structures to reconstruct all of it, and we created a girl that looked like Yui, but actually don't come that close. You may have lots of genetics from Eskimo people as far as I know!"

Rei blinked. A lot. Wow Rei, you're a racist! I mean this was what made you question everything? "...Really sir?"

"Well yeah! Do you know how Yui looked in her youth? She was still pretty, but much plain-looking, like Shinji. You're comparatively gorgeous compared to young Yui! Maybe in the future you'd look more similar, maybe you'd look even prettier, but I think that already showed that you're different."

"So that's how far my similarity with your wife is. Thank you for the explanation, Commander."

"Uh, what are you two talking about? Why's Rei talking about her similarity with your wife, sir?" Hikari looked into the room, she looked like she begged to me to say something that showed it wasn't that bonkers. Luckily, it wasn't hard to make an explanation.

"Oh, it's just about how Rei reminded me of my wife sometimes, and the last action between her and Shinji made it even so," I winked at Rei. Yeah when Kozou's around, sometimes we'd get some 'hot coffee time' by claiming we're going to review some data. Oh, what a life that we had.

"Sir..." Rei bowed down her head, tried to hide her reddened cheeks. She's really cute!

"Oh my god! Rei's embarrassed! Sir, i...it is how she acted all around you and Shinji?"

"Recently yes, Hikari. Sometimes the girl's still as indifferent to me," woah, Rei's ticked by that comment? I could see her tried to pierce my mind with that gaze. "Anyway, why are you here?"

"I just want to tell you that Asuka's here now, sir."

"Well, better be make sure to greet her," I said to the girls. We walked back to the main room, where Shinji looked even redder than Rei was. Judging by her smug smile, it seemed she already found out about it.

"So you two ended up using the time I go to grocery, huh? Ha! So much for Ayanami's incredible control."

"Pilot Sohryu, I can you it won't happen again."

"She just got her medication changed, Sohryu. It made her feeling better, but many of her numbed emotions ended up resurfacing."

"Yeah, whatever. So, you're looking to see us in action, right?" she's even more energized due to me talking about her mother's emails, I could see some of her spirit that didn't look fake.

"That's right. Show us what you three made," I ordered, and Asuka happily shouted several of the moves she taught at the other pilots. Wow, I didn't know Rei could kick that high.

* * *

After all of those sick moves, I could say that Asuka could be a fine martial arts instructor. Damn, the girl's talented.

"Okay, that looked great! Nice job, Asuka. Now, where's the highly choreographed fight that will end up with the core of the twin angels smashed at the same time?"

Asuka's proud look that turned into something blank told me that she did not even think of it. "You can't be serious. I saved you from wearing leotard and doing Dance Dance Revolution for 7 days, and you don't even bother to make it?"

"Sir, with all due respect, it's already tough to teach these two to just able to do a decent axe kick! Add that with the sync talk training, and I ended up...forgetting it."

"Hey! Are you implying we are not good enough?" the other two shouted...at the same time.

"Uh, why's these two that ended up syncing with each others? It's supposed to be you and Shinji."

"We do the syncing thing!" now the three ended up talking in synchronization instead. Asuka had to cough to get a hold of the situation before she explained, "It's just that currently, Third and First Child are more synchronized. However, I promise we can get to the point you asked."

"So you tested the syncing training by asking Rei to do it first?"

"Well, it's feel weird to syncing with a guy you just met a week ago..." the girl admitted.

"True, but still...you need to coordinate with each others so the attack will connect at exact time, and the only way to do it is to make. Asuka, how long did you use Rei for the synchronization talk training?"

"Um, one day? After that I could see how synchronize your talk can help in this regime, so I called Shinji to start doing it with me also. Even got Rei to do it with me as well."

"You're lucky, because if you ordered Rei to do that sync training for a longer period, I'll have no choice but to make a...new training arrangement."

Asuka's face ended up going red. That's right, girl. Let the hate flow through you! "No one will take away my first proper angel fight! Shinji, you'll perfect the flying kick, and you'll do it!"

"But we're still far from doing the roundhouse kick!"

"Well excuse me from forgetting about the angel's agility!"

"You also told me roundhouse kick's the finisher!"

With both of them got into another petty argument, Touji and his crush asked me about whether it could really work, and even Kensuke offered his service to me. I assured them that everything's going according to plan, and with that Gendo pose, not one of them bothered to question me again.

Well, Rei's there to nuke the angels again, just in case it didn't work.

* * *

 _Four days later..._

"See, you three? Everything going according to plan! And no nuke needed to be blown"

Yup. Aside from the less acrobatic moves (due to it never being about dance in the first place), it went just like what we wanted. Them both kicked the core at the same time, and the angel exploded. We did not even need to send Rei to the fight.

Then again, I did not know if I truly wanted Rei to enter the fight. From what Shinji said, Asuka showed some... vague interest in him, and something snapped with Rei due to that. They ended up hating each others just like the canon, except it wasn't due to their differences. It was more like girls fighting for the boy they liked, and the first girl extra wanted to win.

So yeah, for the first time, it was Rei who scorned Asuka more.

"Commander, you brought the three here just to stroke your ego? How about our security!" Misato screamed while she pointed at Shinji's classmates.

"Misato, public opinion matter to us. And they're not just children of our employee, but two of them already got to know why they should respect our privacy," I referred to Touji and Kensuke's incident.

"But we don't answer to public! They're going to be scared by the gore and blood in the first place, and then they'll call us barbaric!" she tried to refute my point.

"Soon we will. Kaji have been testing our PR by appearing on several cities, and people thought he's Hellspawn came into life, and just as cool. As long as we distract them by the cool armor and hide the part like how our robots contains intestines, we're good!"

Misato looked at the other superiors, only to find out they had nothing to say about it. "R...Ritsuko, Fuyutsuki-san. You don't have objection?"

"We have several countries that's unwilling to send a cent to us due to our secrecy. I think it can be helpful to us, showing how we work a little," nice point, my darling.

"Oh, you're just saying that because you love his joystick too much, you cheap... doctor!" what the fuck. Not only you accused Ritsuko of being my sexual slave, you also made everyone spat their caramel tea! That came out of your pocket, Major!

"At least my man don't have tentacles!" nice insult there.

"THAT'S IT!" the two friends ended up fighting like cats, and none of us dared to break it.

 _"Uh, is Mr. Kaji available?"_ Oh yeah. Thank you for reminded us that we just defeated the angel, Shinji.

"We're going ahead of schedule, so he's still 30 minutes away."

 _"Well, can you tell him to go faster? Rei's, uh, currently chasing Asuka with an N2 bomb in her hand, and they hogged the nearest umbilical cords, so my power already ran out."_

"Wait what?" Maya asked, just as shocked as the rest of us.

 _"Well things happened, mostly accident and a little tease, and Rei who tried to check on us got...furious."_

 _"AAAAGH! HELP ME!"_

 _"I have told you he is not available as suitor anymore, so accept your punishment!"_ oh god, the feed really showed Rei chasing Asuka!

 _"But I didn't do anything! Except accidentally touching his thigh!"_

 _"You told him you have some prize for him! And you used a seductive tone on top of that!"_

 _"That's because I only teased the wimp, you crazy bitch!"_ Rei ended up accelerating from both insults, and Asuka had to run even faster.

 _"I shouldn't have stared at their breasts last night, or at least stared at Rei's first..."_

Everyone (except the still fighting catwomen) ended up speechless, not knowing what to say, and what to do. That perverted comment from Shinji was the least bizarre thing out of all the fiasco. It took a long time before I managed to create an order, I even had to remove my glasses with shaken hand.

"Fuyutsuki, tell Kaji to fly faster. Maya, tell Ritsuko to inspect Rei after this. Preferably with psychiatrist joined it..." I could only hope they did not ended up drugged her with depressants again.

"Whoa! A Yanderei in action!" Touji made a pun, only to got boo from Kensuke, and Aoba showed him the door. Poor boy.

* * *

Well that's the end of the new chapter. Sorry for turned Rei super OOC. Also Happy New Year for everyone!


End file.
